general hospital.biz

Commentary for Week 23      JUNE 02 thru 06

Individual Points I Want to Talk About

MONDAY

01. One of the great things about the character Anthony Zacchara as he’s played by Bruce Weitz is that you never know whether Anthony is crazy or not, lying or not. One minute he’s talking to Jason about putting 40 years of your life into a place only to have someone burn it down in minutes; the next minute he’s thanking Jason for getting rid of all that junk.

02. Why do they continually write Maxie to be stupid? Forget about Johnny; let her concentrate on her career and Spinelli for a while.

03. Talk about naïve … Jax, you say that in order for the two of you to get back together, there can’t be anything between you. Not true. Carly knows that if tells you she screwed Sonny while committed to you AGAIN that she might be in a shitload of trouble. See, if people could be counted on to keep their mouths shut, Jax need never know that moment happened, and he and Carly could be just fine.

04. Nikolas, you need to realize that Claudia is one very smart lady. She’s sharp, and she sees things, and she keeps her ears open and her mouth shut. (“You know, where I come from a guy wants to off himself, generally he’ll just wrap his teeth around a 45 and go out with a bang.” “If you didn’t have a death wish, why would you be riding your horse in the middle of the night just after you had brain surgery?”) Claudia, you need to realize that Nikolas is a pretty smart guy. (“If I really wanted to die, I just wouldn’t have had the brain surgery and let the tumor kill me so that I could be with Emily.”) It’s clear both of you have a lot in common, and god only knows Tyler Christopher needs something else to do other than be Mr. Nice guy who sits in that moldy old house and does nothing all day long. It would be great if the writes could come up with some wonderful adventure for the two of them like in the old days. Something with his grandmother, and Claudia’s uncle, perhaps?

05. Carly wants to get past all the problems with Michael and Jax, but she doesn’t know where to start. I would suggest the first thing they do is get rid of the house.

06. Nikky, let me tell you something about women like Claudia: they love a challenge. And you’ve made it clear that there will never be another for you because you will always love Emily. I wouldn’t be so quick there, flash. I bet a night with Claudia would be like taming a volcano. I’d like to see some scenes like that between you two; that would beat anything we’ve ever seen on GH.

07. Let me get this straight. Jason torches Zacchara’s house, the mob war has begun, and Lulu comes running over to Carly’s to tell Carly she’s the only one who can stop it? What? Does Carly walk on, or part large bodies of water, in her spare time? I know I’m not explaining this right, but there’ something really annoying to me about Lulu once again sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, and trying to drag people in with her. What does Lulu think Carly’s going to do? Tell him to stop, and he’ll just stop. How about he goes over there and apologizes, and builds Anthony a new house?

08. Well, finally someone bothered to tell someone about Jason’s actions. I’m sure Jason doesn’t feel the need to inform anyone that he torched the Zacchara house. I’m sure he’s got guards on all the right people. So perhaps he feels there’s no reason to tell them. Are you kidding? Anthony, who’s known to love to take his vengeance out on people’s families, and no one has told Carly and Jax? Doesn’t Lulu know? After all, she was there when Johnny got the call. And he told her that the mob war had begun. So why hasn’t Lulu said anything to Carly?

09. People are always telling Spinelli that “the answer is not to go out and learn to shoot a gun.” I disagree. Learn how to shoot; become an expert marksman. First, of all, it’s silly for Sam to wonder what Spinelli is doing at the range. What is SHE doing at the range? If she thinks she needs to have some target practice, why not Spinellli? Secondly, if Spinelli could learn to shoot – and he could, despite what the writers make him into – it would certainly help his self-confidence. Plus, you never know when that kind of skill will come in handy.

10. Hey, Sonny, You don’t get to do the “I need to see you NOW” thing. Jason doesn’t work for you anymore. I’d consider a change in attitude, or you’re going to be very upset. It’s going to start hitting you that you’re no longer the boss in any sense of the word. This isn’t like taking your favorite toys (the coffee business, the casino, the island) and staying away. This is like no one has to pay any attention to anything you say. Boy, are you in for a rude awakening.

11. What I find so interesting about what’s going on between Maxie and Johnny is that nothing is going on between Maxie and Johnny, but I guarantee you the more nothing goes on, the more in trouble Johnny will get. No matter what he does, no matter how many times he tells Lulu that he has absolutely no interest in Maxie, it won’t take Lulu long to start wondering, and you know Lulu’s going to find them in some compromising position.

12. Jax is absolutely right: “So after all the hell you’ve been through, after all the grieving you’ve done for your son, you’ve learned absolutely nothing.” FANTASTIC! FINALLY SOMEONE CALLS HER ON THIS. Frankly, being around Jason “in his hour of need” is FAR MORE DANGEROUS than being around Sonny. It’s clear now that Carly has someone to punish, and has punished Sonny, now she’s back to being the selfish person she always was. Even Jason has told her to stay away. Unbelievable. Jax, send over the divorce papers, and get the hell out of there.

13. Sonny, you are an idiot. “I did not leave things in your hands so you can destroy them in 24 hours.” Are you beginning to get it? Jason is not interested in what you want, or what you need, or any opinion you might have involving the business. And I wouldn’t count on him rushing over there again any time soon.

TUESDAY

14. Tracy, that’s what you get when you barge into a legal adult’s bedroom. No doubt you will make this huge deal about it, when it’s none of your business. And since the person who owns the house isn’t around right now, No one else has the power to throw you out. And Monica throwing you out for sleeping with a man is ludicrous, considering her history.

15. So yesterday Sonny got all bent out of shape because he wasn’t being cow-towed to. Now Kate can’t go on some boat ride with him because she actually has business to conduct. And he’s all bent out of shape, you can tell. That’s one of the problems with “retired” people: they expect other people to entertain them and make allowances for them. Oh, sure, my magazine is getting ready to launch, and proper distribution will make or break its future, but sure, I’ll just drop everything at this critical moment and go boat riding with you because you’re bored and don’t have anything better to do.

16. Oh, this is a great line. If I were Diane, Alexis is lucky she doesn’t get a belt in the kisser. Alexis is ragging on Sonny, and Diane walks in, admonishing Alexis for speaking to Sonny without benefit of counsel, and Alexis says, “Why is Diane still working for you if you’re not involved in organized crime?” EXCUSE ME? That implies that every client Diane has is a mobster. It also implies that Sonny couldn’t possibly have any business that required an attorney’s assistance. That’s ridiculous.

17. So Carly loves Jax, and she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, but she won’t end her relationship with Jason. In other words, I love you Jax, but only if you’re crazy enough to allow your wife to treat her best friend like he’s her real husband. You know, if Jax died tomorrow, and Carly had to go on “alone”, you wouldn’t be able to tell Jax was even gone if you looked to her relationship with Jason as the indicator. No man in his right mind would allow his wife to be so fixated on another man, especially one who was so dangerous. “You need to accept it and respect it”, says Carly. No I don’t, Carly. Accept and respect it, or what? You divorce me because I object to my wife treating her best friend like he was her husband? Because I object to being the lowest person on your food chain?

18. Spinelli brings Maxie flowers, and she won’t even allow him to leave them? You have got to be joking. And Spinelli, haven’t you got the point by now? Maxie is actually expected to WORK, to exert effort. Remember how you felt with Jason literally breathing down your neck waiting for information. What if Lulu or Maxie had come in just then wanting to discuss perfume?

19. Nikolas, relax. All you and Claudia did was kiss. Big deal. Jesus. I was hoping they’d had sex. Too bad. And nothing like accusing Claudia of “coming on to you” because you know her secret. Good move, Nik. You are a real jerk.

20. You gotta love Diane … “You couldn’t have picked a worse time to have become a law abiding citizen.”

21. Am I the only one who sees the irony of watching Tracy and Edward fighting with Lulu and JOHNNY?  He should consider himself privileged; this stuff is usually reserved for family.

22. So Spinelli supposedly wrote something on Robin’s blog that she didn’t … well, I’m not sure what her problem was. So she pulls Maxie out of work, and then demands that Maxie confront Spinelli about why he put something in Robin’s blog. WHAT? Why should Robin care? It’s not like he keeps putting stuff in that says she’s a dirty whore or something. And Robin, the next time you have a problem with Spinelli, call Spinelli. And if you want to see Maxie, you leave the hospital, and you go over to Maxie’s job, which she’s not supposed to leave. If you have the time to stand around reading your emails, you have the time to go to Maxie’s job. But my real point is, why in the hell is Robin getting so bent? Am I supposed to believe that there hasn’t been one negative comment in this hugely successful blog?

23. So let me get this straight. Carly wanted Jerry thrown out of “her hotel”. Carly wanted Kate thrown out of “her” hotel, I can’t even remember the number of people Carly wanted thrown out of “her” hotel. She never seemed to be worried about the loss of revenue before. So are we supposed to conclude that if Jax had wanted the Zaccharas to stay, Carly would have demanded that they be thrown out? How stupid and petty.

WEDNESDAY

24. Lulu, considering the fact that you’re fucking Claudia’s brother, how dare you tell her to stay away from Nikolas?

25. And while we’re on the subject, Lulu, you have a very nasty habit of the pot calling the kettle black. First of all, this is Nikolas’ house, and it’s very bad manners for him to allow a guest to be insulted in his home. Secondly, if I recall, you slept with Dillon to purposely ruin his relationship with Georgie; you had an abortion, which many people would say puts you at the top of the skank club; you played around with Spinelli, and then threw him under the bus when Logan came along; you then played around with Logan, and threw him under the bus when Johnny came along. Who do you think you are?

26. OH MY GOD, IT’S A MONICA SIGHTING.

27. See how easy it is to intimidate people? I can hardly wait to see how Claudia takes it. One minute she’s mad at Sonny because he’s a mobster, and the next minute she uses the fact that he’s a mobster (who can bring the trucking industry in New York to its knees) to get her magazine proper shelf placement.

28. Here’s another one. Carly wants Jason in her life, so she tells Jax that he has Alexis and Kate in his life, so she has Jason. Excuse me? First of all, Jax doesn’t go running to Alexis and Kate every time he has a problem, and ignore Carly. Secondly, neither Kate nor Alexis carries with her the threat of physical violence. You can walk down the street with Kate, and not worry about making it to the next block. Even Jason realized this when he told Carly she had to stay away from him.

WEDNESDAY (continued)

29. You gotta love Claudia: “Well, Morgan finally got tired and took over. Have they found Sonny’s body yet?”

30. IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO ANY MORE OF LULU’S AMATEUR PSYCHOLOGY I’M GOING TO PUKE.

31. ROBIN, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. She says, “I’m supposed to believe you didn’t post 934 messages on my blog?” WAKE UP ROBIN. Did you think Patrick sat down at the bar and created 934 email addresses and 934 messages, and managed to send them all to you just now, directly referencing something that just happened?

THURSDAY

32. Robin, how you can be so naïve or so stupid or so whatever is beyond me. You put out a website, and then you spend time whining about your kid’s father. It is incredibly naïve to think that every response you’re going to get is going to be a nice one, telling you how right you are, and how wonderful you are, and all that crap. I don’t know a single person who has a website who hasn’t had stuff put on it that they didn’t agree with. Get used to it.

33. Kate, stop being so paranoid. If every time somebody’s talking to someone, or mentions a website, and you think the world is conspiring to reveal you and Sonny in your office, you’re going to have a real problem. May
I Suggest you make people knock? Or better yet, may I Suggest that you have your sexual liaisons somewhere other than your office?

34. And while we’re on the subject, Sonny, how DARE you tell Spinelli that he better knock next time. I DON’T REMEMBER YOU KNOCKING, and Kate was in the middle of a very important meeting, and you didn’t even know with whom.

35. Let me get this straight. Jason is talking to a family member of the WORST enemy he has right now, and IN FRONT OF THAT ENEMY, Spinelli comes rushing in to talk with Jason about witnessing Sonny and Kate in her office??????? You have GOT to be kidding. And if I were Jason, and this goes for anyone (not just Spinelli), I would have a NEW guard at the door who wouldn’t let ANYONE in without permission.     

36. Talk about ridiculous. There’s Lulu telling Claudia that she’ll stay out of her way, but only if Claudia stays away from Nikolas. If I were Claudia I’d say, “I’ll stay away from Nikolas if you stay away from Johnny.” And then I’d go over to Nikolas’ and let him know that the females in his life think so little of his ability to run his own life that they’re threatening me to stay away from him or else. But see, this is what happens when you’re a spoiled brat like Lulu, and you’re beautiful, and there have always been people there to take care of you, no matter how stupid your actions. You think you can say or do anything and get away with it because you’ve got muscle on your side. You did notice, since we’re on the subject, that Lulu never came out from behind Carly.

37. Well, well, Lulu, you sure didn’t expect THAT from Carly, did you? The look on your face was priceless.

38. Nikolas, PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN. In this case, pay no attention to Saint Elizabeth, Don’t go slow. Don’t worry about what your emotions are founded on right now. You and Claudia could be so hot together. You’d certain have to take the stick out of your ass; you know, the one that Saint Emily put there? You’re both kindred spirits. You both come from the same dysfunctional family. You could both understand each other on a level that very few people ever see. And Claudia would never let you just sit around. She loves power, and she’d get your ass off that chair, and you’d start to make things move and shake just like Jason and Anthony. In fact, the two of you can start by putting together a terrific plan for getting the piers away from Trevor.

39. You could also do what I told you to over a year ago. Forget the Haunted Star. Turn Wyndemere into a Casino, with the second floor reserved for overnight “very special guests”. Nikolas and Claudia run the Casino, which puts Nik in a tuxedo (YUM) and Claudia into some terrific sexy clothes (YUM YUM).

40. Diane, you are SUCH a mercenary in so many ways.

41. So let me get THIS straight, Spinelli. You’ve talk to how many people for tips on the proper care and handling of females; you’ve spent time with Sam, you’ve been run ragged by Maxie, and after all this, the only thing you got out of all that was that Maxie craves desk sex with Sonny? Nothing like a man who actually takes time to perceive what’s going on around him.  

42. I think Lulu is the only person stupid enough to come running to Jason’s office to tell him she’s WORRIED ABOUT JOHNNY. You know, it’s too bad this isn’t the real world, because in the real world Jason would blow Johnny’s head off right in front of Lulu and then say, “Now are we clear about my feelings about Johnny Zacchara?” Okay, so Jason can’t do that, but he could at least say, “Lulu, what in the world makes you think that I have the least interest in whether Johnny Zacchara is having an upset? If you have some information for me that can keep my organization and the people I love safe, then give it to me. But if all you want to do is come here to whine about Johnny, then stay away. In fact, you’re lucky I don’t consider this a betrayal of the family on your part, and forbid you to see him, “

43. Spinelli and the Maximista were TERRIFIC.

44. Excuse me, Johnny, but exactly what is your objection to Nickolas Cassadine? He’s filthy rich, he’s a prince, and he treats women with respect. Claudia could do worse. And since I didn’t hear Claudia mention marriage … What I would have also said was, “Johnny, I’d be fascinated if you’d tell me exactly what kind of man would be right for your sister.”

FRIDAY

45. Great line from Jason to Lulu: “If you really think you can have a future with Johnny, why don’t you go visit Michael and see what it looks like.”

46. Okay, I’m tired of this. I’m tired of Lulu (and other people) saying how Johnny doesn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps. After the 500^th time you hear it, it wears pretty thin. If Johnny really wants out of the business, this is the right time. Everyone knows his father ran the business, or Trevor ran the business; they know Johnny didn’t. I’m sure they consider Johnny too young, too inexperienced, to run his father’s empire. So if you really want out, Johnny, walk away. And if you don’t think papa will let you, then kill him, hand the business to someone else, and split.

47. And any comparison between Johnny and Sonny can’t be made logically. Sonny and Jason have been in the business together for years.

48. You know, Lulu, alienating Jason is really stupid. For a couple of years now, ever since you found out Jake was his son, you’ve gone back and forth and back and forth about whether Jason should claim Jake. Funny how, when it suited you, you decided that Jason made the right decision. Now, because he won’t  - well, I’m not sure what you want him to do regarding Johnny – suddenly Jason SHOULD have left the mob and claimed Jake, and he didn’t because he didn’t try hard enough and he doesn’t want to be happy anyway. What nonsense. Lulu, does it make you feel important constantly sticking your nose where it isn’t welcome, and where it shouldn’t be in the first place? Johnny doesn’t need or want your help. Stop emasculating the guy, and show up for work once in a while.

49. How can anyone watch Lulu demand that Claudia stay away from Nikolas when Lulu is screwing Johnny? How can anyone watch Johnny demand that Nikolas stay away from Johnny’s sister, when Johnny is screwing Nikolas’ sister?

50. Carly, you’ve said a lot of stupid stuff. You’ve also said things that were right on, and things you had every right to say. But to now tell Jax, after the way you’ve shit on him for months, and after you’ve told him since the day you were married that you want to give him a child of his own, to NOW tell him that they shouldn’t make Jax’s dream come true because Morgan’s father is a mob boss and just think of the life we’d be bringing that child into … Are you kidding me? That is so insulting. Figure it out, Jax. Carly’s just going to come up with one excuse after another – unless she finds out she’s pregnant already, and then she’ll have a magic change of heart. I wonder what happens when the kid is born with dark hair.

51. See, Nikolas. You, like everyone else, keep making excuses for Lulu when she acts like an asshole. This only encourages her to act MORE like an asshole. Didn’t you tell her just a little while ago that she was out of line disparaging guests in your home? Clearly she didn’t learn anything. Claudia is right. Lulu saw 2+2 and came up with 5, and made everyone believe something happened that didn’t. And now she’s back, causing even more trouble, and you’re putting up with it. You are an idiot.

52. GOOD FOR YOU, MAXIE. Kate needs to get the stick out of her ass. Spinelli is always ready to help Kate, and she needs to get her high horse with him.

53. And while we’re on the subject, why would Kate fire Maxie for looking at some proofs?

54. Carly, asks Jax, “Do you want to have a child because you think it will fix what’s wrong between us?” I’ve always wondered exactly what Carly thought was the problem between them, and this is the perfect opportunity to find out. Instead, Jax says they’ll deal with their problems as they come, or something. Too bad, because I would have really liked to have known what we’re dealing with here.

55.  BOY, SONNY, ARE YOU GETTING A GUTFUL OF REALITY TODAY. First the loan shark, and now Jason making sure you understand that it’s Jason’s office now, not yours. And it’s Jason’s business now, not yours. And who the HELL do you think you are talking to Spinelli that way? HOW DARE YOU? If I were Spinelli, I would never do another thing for Sonny or Kate. In fact, It’s a good thing Spinelli is just a good guy, because I’m not, and if I had just been treated that way by Kate and Sonny, I’d put my cyber skills to work, and Sonny and Kate would be in a world of hurt. Sonny wants Jason to fire Spinelli because Sonny is tired of tripping over him? Sonny, I don’t give a shit. PICK UP YOUR FEET. Right now, I hate to break this to you, but Spinelli is much more important to Jason’s and the business than you are. And then you want Jason to run the loan shark out of town, and he tells you it’s not your call. Wow …

56. My god, does Lulu have a tracking device on Claudia? Lulu’s always a step behind: The MetroCourt, Nikolas’ house (not once, but twice), Johnny and Lulu’s love nest. Lulu, I thought you were supposed to be at work. You sure got done with all that stuff awfully fast.