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Current Happenings for Week 30     JUL 21 thru JUL 25

Individual Points I Want to Talk About

CARLY JONES QUARTERMANE CORINTHOS ALCAZAR CORINTHOS JAX.

FIRST CARLY SEDUCES HER MOTHER'S HUSBAND, AND MARRIES TONY JONES. LATER, SHE TRIES TO KILL HIM IN A COURTROOM FULL OF PEOPLE, AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.
THEN CARLY MARRIES AJ QUARTERMANE ONLY 

FOR HIS MONEY AND POSITION, AND THEN WHEN SHE GETS PREGNANT, SHE CLAIMS THE KID BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE, KEEPING AJ AWAY FROM HIS CHILD FOR YEARS.
SHE MARRIES MOBSTER SONNY TWICE; THE SECOND TIME BECAUSE SHE STUPIDLY WALKS IN ON SOMETHING THAT COULD SEND SONNY TO JAIL AND CAN'T KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT.
THEN THERE'S ALCAZAR, WHO SHE TREATS LIKE CRAP EVEN THOUGH HE WAS TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HER AND WOULD HAVE GIVEN HER THE WORLD.
AND NOW THERE'S JAX. 
FROM WHAT WE CAN SEE, CARLY MADE HER FORTUNE MARRYING, OR SHACKING UP WITH, OR HAVING THE CHILDREN OF MULTI-MILLIONAIRES. IT'S HER SPECIALTY, LIKE BAKING THE BEST DARN APPLE CRISPS IN THE COUNTY. 
YOU'D THINK A WOMAN THIS RICH AND BEAUTIFUL WOULDN'T BE SUCH A DOPE.

MONDAY

01. Oh, I see. So Johnny takes the gun from Lulu to protect her, then users her as a hostage to escape. And of course there's our intrepid police with their guns drawn, just ready to kill anyone they can. Jason sees the situation for what it is, and stops the cop from killing Johnny and possibly Lulu in the process. So of course he's the one who gets arrested. In fact when all this crap is over, the one guy with the most sense (naturally) is the only one in jail, and the two - yes, you heard me - and the TWO people who SHOULD be in jail are running and having a gay old time, as we'll no doubt see. 

02. So let's get into this now. HOW IN THE HELL DOES A WOMAN GET INTO THE PCPD WITH A LOADED GUN? If I were the Mayor, or whoever is above the Police Commissioner, Mac Scorpio would be suspended pending a full investigation, and he wouldn't be allowed anywhere near that police station until he put protocols in motion to GUARANTEE that doesn't happen again. HASN'T ANYONE IN PORT CHARLES HEARD OF A METAL DETECTOR? They don't even cost that much anymore. I'm sure Nikolas or Jax would be delighted to buy some for the  PCPD.

03. And while we're on the subject, let's dead with something else. I can't wait to watch this week to see if ANYONE puts two and two together and realizes that Lulu IS AN ACCESSORY, NOT A VICTIM. If Claudia came into the PCPD and Johnny tried to use her as a hostage, there would be no doubt in anyone's mind that SHE brought the gun. So what's this thing everybody's got about Lulu, pure as the driven snow, and needing protection. Lulu? Why beautiful, fragile Lulu would never bring a loaded gun into a police station, would she? WHAT PLANET ARE YOU PEOPLE LIVING ON. You violate all the laws of fair and proper police work. AND IT ALL STARTS WITH MAC SCORPIO'S EVERLASTING COMMENT: "FORGET ABOUT PROBABLE CAUSE."

04. Thank you Mayor. Of all the people there, you are the person who I would have thought was the LAST person into he world to be concerned about someone else. But when Johnny takes your car at gunpoint, the only thing you said was that Johnny shouldn't hurt Lulu, and that was FAR MORE than anyone else said in that entire police station.

05. Now get this. Carly is SHOCKED at Jax and says, "You're giving me an ultimatum; I have to be honest ALL THE TIME, or you're going to leave me?" EXCUSE ME? Let's forget Jax's response for a moment. To Carly, lying is like breathing. Seriously ... she acts as though Jax were asking her to cut off an arm or something. Would YOU want to be with someone who lies almost ALL the time? With someone you can NEVER trust? With someone who ALWAYS has her own agenda? And then acts like YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S BEING UNREASONABLE? Jesus.

06. So it's clear, Carly, that you love lying and consider honesty an unfair tenet of your marriage. So you have no one to blame but yourself when Jax doesn't believe that you got no phone calls from Kate. You bring it on yourself, and then complain. Wake up. Did you think Kate was just going to sit passively by and watch you destroy her magazine and its most important investor? 

07. But there's one thing that scares me. If I were in Carly's place, and I knew I never received those calls, I'd go to Spinelli, or better yet someone else (since this is so easy), or go to an attorney and get Crimson's phone records, as well as records from Kate and Clarisse's cell phones and PROVE to Jax that they didn't call. Kate or Clarisse should have placed those calls and when Carly answered, they could have made stupid conversation for thirty seconds, or Clarisse could have just no said anything and hoped that Carly stayed on the line long enough to make it look like an actual call. Carly would be far better off with the scientific approach that proved something to Jax ... because she's too stupid to realize that if Jax ever found out that Kate purposely lied about the calls, if he didn't pull out of Crimson, he would make life for Kate miserable, and that would solve Carly's problem. So she's got the solution to her problem right there, but they write has as being so stupid that she doesn't take advantage of it.

08. Carly can't even promise Jax that she won't sabotage his business dealings anymore. He has to drag it out of her. This is ridiculous. So more and more Carly looks guilty, and it's her fault. 

09. Kate, when I decide to screw someone over, I ALMOST NEVER take on partners. I understand that you probably decided that Clarisse calling Jax would work better than Kate saying she called Carly. But boy, Kate, I hope you and Clarisse stay good friends for a long time, because if she ever gets pissed at you and tells Jax about what you did, you're meat. You know that stuff about a woman scorned. Now we'll see Clarisse's true colors. We'll see in a while if she comes to Kate wanting more money, or a promotion, or more pages in the magazine, and what she makes clear to Kate regarding what happens if she doesn't get what she wants. Good luck. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THAT'S TWO LOOSE ENDS, and that's not good.

10. Nadine, you can't be that stupid to think that anyone who was pushing counterfeit drugs would go to dinner with you, and after a few minutes you'd have them singing like a bird. How ridiculous. Nadine tells Nikolas she'll be subtle. Get serious.

11. Sonny, come one. Claudia is a very intelligent woman. And frankly, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what you're all about. So trying to give Claudia the impression that you're really happy seeing your fiancée in compromising positions with other men, and that you can't wait to get up every morning and have a sexual experience with your coffee beans, is a waste of time. There isn't a person on this planet who doesn't realize you're bored to tears, and emasculated, and you miss the action. Now why it has to be mob action is beyond me. Why not get some businesses and compete against Jax?

12. You know, Lulu, you REALLY piss me off. If you REALLY wanted to confess, if you REALLY didn't want someone else to take the fall, then you should have walked into the police station and immediately given yourself up. And did you? OF COURSE NOT. And now that you're away from the police, now once again it becomes convenient to start that awful whining about how you have to give yourself up. I don't buy it at all. 

13. I WOULD NEVER ALLOW LUCKY SPENCER TO BE ON MY POLICE FORCE. He comes up with the stupidest stories that have absolutely to proof attached to them. The only thing that's important is that the people he cares about are protected. Lucky NEVER thinks, and he ALWAYS jumps to wrong conclusions. Look at what he tells Nikolas AS THE TRUTH: "Lulu sat in the squad room half the afternoon waiting to see Johnny. When she got in, he put a gun to her head, and used her to get away." So Lulu sat in the squad room looking like death warmed over for HOURS, and no one noticed there seemed something wrong with her? We can see it, so why can't the police? And while Johnny did put a gun to her head, you can bet that Lucky will say Johnny had it smuggled in, NEVER EVEN CONSIDERING THE IDEA that Lulu, who is clearly in love with Johnny, would bring a gun to get him, out. Then we have to listen to Lucky tell Nikolas how scared Lulu must be. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, IDIOT BOY? Scared of Johnny? Oh, ya. NIKOLAS, THANK GOD YOU'RE AROUND.

14. See this is yet another reason why Lulu is full of shit when she says she wants to confess. Once she confesses, it can't be long before they let Johnny go, especially when they have other witnesses to the situation, so they can't claim Lulu is trying to save Johnny. So IF SHE CONFESSES, JOHNNY GOES FREE. So if she really wanted to confess, there would have been no reason to bring in the gun and break him out of jail, would there?

15. OH MY GOD IT'S CODY!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS GUY. I loved him last year. Which means the kiss of death, probably because Phelps and Guza have no concept of who to keep and who to get rid of. 

16. Carly, if you don't want your life with Jax to end, then STOP BEING AN ASS.

TUESDAY

17. Typical of Mac Scorpio to tell the victim of a car jacking at gunpoint that it's really good that it happened because he'll get sympathy? Sympathy, my ass. 

18. Thank goodness we now have TWO level heads who realize that Lulu is ac ACCOMPLICE and not a victim.  

19. Could someone explain to me why Maxie is being such a bitch about allowing Spinelli to help Claudia? EVERYBODY comes into that penthouse unannounced looking for Spinelli to do his thing, and Maxie doesn't give shit to any of them except Claudia.

20. "Are you going to go to Rome and be with Brenda?" 
"Is that what you say to all your wives before you leave them?" Keep it up, Carly. Talk about desperate. Jax, what you need to do is just leave. Don't even pack, just go. And Carly, get screwed. Don't talk to me about MY wedding vows, when you're constant lying and manipulation wasn't part of any wedding vow I made. For better or worse DOESN'T MEAN I'll stand behind you no matter if your lies are good or bad, or better or worse than someone else's. Don't be upset at Jax about blaming everything on you; IT IS YOUR FAULT. AND I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL HE FINDS OUT YOU FUCKED SONNY. 

21. And Lulu? Anyone with half a brain would NEVER allow this girl to testify. She's her own worst enemy. If she was allowed to get on the stand and spout the TOTALLY ACCURATE AND TRUTHFUL stuff she's saying, she'd convict herself. I'm sure Johnny was going to let her confess. But I'm telling you, only bad writing would keep me from telling Lulu to shut up and stop whining.

22. And how we have to listen to Nikolas whine and say that he should have paid more attention to Lulu, put her to work at the clinic, and told her over and over to stay away from Johnny. What planet are YOU on? Lulu is in love with this guy. WAKE UP. She had absolutely no intention of staying away from him no matter what you said. So go and do something more productive.

23. Of course, now Carly is trying to use Morgan to get Jax to stay. That stinks. 

24. While sometimes misery IS part of the deal, Carly, YOUR KIND OF MISERY ISN'T. There's enough trouble in the world; people don't need you to make it worse. You don't get to grind people into dust, and then tell them THEY'RE TO BLAME because they agreed to marry you for better or for worse. And Jax, you're talking way too much. Carly's forte is talking and talking until you give up in frustration or boredom or whatever. The more you stay and listen, the more you get sucked in. And the more you get sucked in, then I get pissed because while you SHOULD leave, you're going to turn into a wimp again.

25. Anthony IS right; Lulu IS as nuts as her mother.

26. Carly, asking Jax to take you at your word is like Hitler "making peace" with Chamberlain. It's totally a one-sided deal. You have done absolutely NOTHING to prove you DESERVE to be trusted by Jax. You made your reputation bed, and now you can lay in it. But I have to give you credit. Standing there and verbally abusing Jax at every opportunity, accusing him of running out on his other wives, and implying something going on between him and Kate because he kissed her - going on and on AND ALL THE WHILE KNOWING THAT YOU SCREWED SONNY and certainly did the greater betrayal.

WEDNESDAY

27. Nothing like going to see someone who's dead. Really shows that you kept in touch, Johnny. Your concern touches me, and the gentleman with the gun, I'm sure.

28. EXCUSE ME? SINCE WHEN DOES ROBIN GET TO DICTATE WHO LIVES IN MAXIE'S HOUSE? I'll tell you what, Robin, I'll take your apartment, you can move back here, and then he can be YOUR roommate. But as long as I live in this house, I make the decisions, and who in the hell are you to tell me who's going to living in my house? SO MAC SCORPIO SIGNED A LEASE AND NEVER TOLD MAXIE? If I'm Maxie, I tell Robin to go to hell, and I pack and leave. I know what GH is doing. Just imagine THE BORING BORING BORING STUPID stuff the writers are going to do that we're supposed to thing are "cute". How many times are we going to have to put up with Dr. Hunter coming out of the shower in only a towel, if that? I want to puke already. And I would tell Mac in no uncertain terms, that guy goes, or I go. And then I would put an add in all the papers saying Robin is looking to sublet her apartment for a ludicrously low price so hundreds of people will call. And then I would continue to make her life hell as my personal thank you. My god, that pisses me off.

29. My favorite line so far comes from Nikolas: "Someone who is kind and generous and has everything to live for can be taken away from you SO SENSELESSLY." WHAT A PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF THE WRITING ON GH - ESPECIALLY THE "SENSELESS" PART.

30. Why would Lulu call Elizabeth? And boy, Liz, no flies on you. Yes, Elizabeth, normally when a prisoner puts a gun to someone's head, leaves the police station, and runs away with the person, that person is considered taken hostage. My god, even Elizabeth sees the logic in Lulu being an accomplice instead of a victim.

31. I was wondering when Johnny would just sit down at the piano. That's something you can't fake.

32. So OF COURSE we couldn't go through a week without the writers degrading Claudia again. GREAT LINE NUMBER TWO: "Johnny didn't come to you for help, daddy, because you're a poor excuse for a father and Johnny hates your guts."

33. I don't know about you, but that tirade of Anthony's against Claudia was frankly more than I could take. I'm getting really sick of listening to this stuff day after day, week after week.

34. THANKS ROBIN, YOU BITCH! NOW YOU APOLOGIZE??

35. Nadine, why don't you just bust this jerk so we can hear all about how he's really some government agent sent to deal with drug counterfeiters, etc., etc. LET'S MOVE ON. The guy CLEARLY isn't the bad guy, or the writers wouldn't be doing everything they can (as usual) to make us think he is. BORING.

36. Don't you think it's hilarious, or pathetic, how everyone is SOOOOOOOOO worried about poor, terrified, Lulu. And there's poor, terrified Lulu screwing Johnny and doing just fine. Must be nice to murder a guy, bring a loaded gun into a police station, break your boyfriend out of jail, and then take off, and have everyone either making excuses for you, or just plain ignoring what you did.

THURSDAY

37. Sam, just tell Elizabeth what's going on, for crying out loud.

38. Well, I'd try fast food first, and see if anyone delivers. If this place is like where I live, where the closest MacDonald's is 40 miles away, and nobody delivers anywhere, then get imaginative. First, Johnny doesn't go - Lulu does. That's because the police are pretty stupid, and they'll be looking for two people, not one. Secondly, Lulu, haven't you seen The Bourne Identity? Cut and color your hair, go buy some glasses or something. Come on.

39. Let me get this straight. Scott Baldwin comes back into town, and either hasn't received a message about his son, or hasn't looked at any of the news, and knows nothing about his kid being killed? Am I to assume that special prosecutors just come and go as they please without letting anyone know when they'll be back? Because even if I didn't like the guy, I would still have sent a police officer, or someone to meet Scott at the airport and tell him what happened.

40. You know, Carly, the fact that you want to know everything that's going on with Lulu and Johnny, I COULD CARE LESS. I'm shocked that Jason even told you that Lulu was the one who killed Logan, but I assume he thought if you knew the killer was actually Lulu herself, you might shut up, step back, and let Jason handle it. I don't know why you think you have the right to know everybody's business, but you don't have a right to know Jason's no matter what excuse you use. And frankly, knowing how you screw everything up once you THINK you know something, I would never tell you anything.

41. You know, Carly, I just love it that you have the knack of ALWAYS saying the absolutely wrongest thing. You want Jason to confide in you, and then you tell him that if Lulu had really trusted him she wouldn't have broken Johnny out of jail, thus making Jason look like he failed Lulu in some way. If that's what you think, Carly, then get out of here, and find someone else to fix your problems.

42. Max, you're a great bodyguard, but I've never heard you make one business suggestion that had any merit. For someone who's been around mobsters as long as you have, you make no sense. You're trying to make your comments to Sonny legitimate because you're trying to show that his involvement with Karpov may cause an escalation of tensions that are your responsibility to handle. Now, had you STUCK to that point, I would have supported you totally. But the instant you're done with your statement, you're discussing Sonny's private life with Kate, and other stuff that isn't coming from a bodyguard perspective. The one point Max made that WAS stellar was asking Sonny to put himself in Jason's position, finding out that Jason had left the business, and was now making deals with your competition. Sonny never told Max what he would do, but we KNOW what he would do, especially if he was off his meds, or having a bad day.

43. If I were Lulu, Carly, being in a mental ward is a helluva lot better than the electric chair, or life in prison. Lulu better hope people think she WAS crazy, because it's the only way she's going to get off. Just think: her and mommy rocking side by side ...

44. Come on, Claudia, don't look so guilty when Johnny calls. And don't kid yourself; daddy dearest has come to visit, and spend a lot of time, because he knows, just like Jason, that eventually Johnny will call you, and Anthony wants to be around when that happens. Otherwise, he would never be talking nicey-nice to you. Well, nicey-nice for him anyway.

45. Anthony is amazing. 5 minutes after he apologizes, he's back to threatening Claudia. In fact, it's the only way Anthony knows how to be. He's basically threatened to kill everyone within a 50 mile radius. Unfortunately, after you're threatened every time Anthony doesn't like something, it loses some of its meaning.

46. Hey, Lucky, you ever touch me like that again without provocation and I will sue you for every cent you're worth.

47. Sorry, Johnny. Remember that stuff about a woman scorned? Want to know the only thing WORSE than a woman scorned, it's a YOUNG woman scorned. And this girl who's taking piano lessons is already head over heels in love with Johnny, and really pissed that he almost threw her out the second Lulu showed up. Johnny and Lulu should have said they were married. Big mistake.

FRIDAY

48. So Carly has decided that the only way to help Lulu is to FRAME SOME INNOCENT PERSON. SHE WANTS SPINELLI TO FRAME RIC LANSING????? Oh, sure, Carly, no problem. I'll just FRAME AN ATTORNEY who no doubt has a iron clad alibi, and hope that he doesn't sue me for libel. Of course, you'll be fine, and that's all that matters to you. In fact, tell me something Spinelli: if there's ANYONE you should get permission from before doing anything for, its Jason's permission to help Carly. Claudia's request made perfect sense, and you demanded that she go to Jason. Why in the hell don't you do the same with Carly. DO YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE THAT JASON WOULD APPROVE OF SUCH CRAP? And when Spinelli said that Ric could easily have an alibi, Carly tells him to "just get rid of the alibi". What would you suggest, Carly? Does that mean if he was with someone that you want me to kill them so they won't give Ric an alibi? This woman is an idiot, and constantly gets away with the most stupid stuff. CARLY, TELL YOU WHAT. WHY DON'T I FRAME YOU FOR LOGAN'S MURDER?

49. Why is it that people constantly find it necessary to carry on very important conversations in public?

50. THERE'S A GUN MISSING FROM THE QUARTERMANE ESTATE, AND LUCKY STILL REFUSES TO BELIEVE LULU HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT? This guy should be doing nothing but writing parking meter violations.

51. FUCK YOU NIKOLAS, and YOU TOO, LUCKY. Spinelli is right: if you were REALLY showing up as Lulu's brother, you would have never flashed that badge. The fact that you did means any of what Spinelli says can be twisted and turned around and you can say you really were there as a cop because you showed him your badge. Throw them out, Spinelli. Get arrested and call Diane.

52. I just love Scott's interview.

53. Sure, Carly, Jax ALWAYS drinks before important meetings. Who cares about clarity of thought?

54. FUCK YOU NIKOLAS, and FUCK YOU TOO, LUCKY. Your sister tried to kill my son once already, and then admitted she'd made a terrible mistake. She led him on for months while she screwed Johnny Zacchara on the side. My son was murdered because of her actions. And then she takes a gun from the Quartermane estate, brings a loaded gun into the PCPD, and pretends to be a hostage so they can escape. The instant she gave Johnny that gun Lulu became an accessory, and as far as I'm concerned she deserves anything she gets. Of course I would have also called security, had Nikolas arrested for trying to lean on me, and Lucky would have been busted down to meter maid.