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general hospital.biz
Individual Points I Want to Talk About
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MONDAY 01. Just goes to show you what happens when you are really stupid, or really naive. "The Port Charles police have no clue that we're in Manhattan. We've got a safe place to stay, relatively plausible cover story, and we don't need to sneak away for some privacy." Well, of course, when you're on the run for murder, you certainly want to make sure your sexual needs are taken care of. But I digress. I find it actually funny; Johnny's spouting platitudes about how safe they are, and our little chickie scorned is, at that same moment, watching Johnny and Lulu's face on television as wanted for murder. So they DON'T have a safe place to stay; they evidently DON'T have a plausible cover story, and just to see how much privacy they really have, I'd LOVE to see the cops break in just in time to find Johnny and Lulu in probably the most compromising position it's possible to be in. And then, it would be even better if our scorned little chickie is there, takes some really juicy pictures, and then posts them all over the internet. Yep, Johnny, you sure did have a lot of privacy, didn't you? 02. You know what else would be cool? Write it so that every time Lulu attempts to be intimate with Johnny, she flashes on Logan's face as she's driving that knife into his gut. Start getting the rocking chair ready. 03. Here we go again. Not only does Sonny need to keep his nose out of Jason's business, but Sonny has absolutely NO right saying (subtly or otherwise) that Jason is somehow compromising what Sonny "gave" him by allowing himself to remain in lockup. This reminds me of the Roseanne episode where Roseanne's mother comes to Landford and gives Roseanne and Jackie each a check for $10,000. But when they decide to pool the money and open up a diner, Their mother has a fit, saying that she didn't give them the money so they could "lose" it investing in a restaurant. Jackie correctly says, "My fault; and here I thought the money was a gift." Actually, skin is a gift, but I digress. Sonny didn't give the business to Jason with a bunch of strings and caveats. Jason has the business and how he chooses to keep that business going is now up to Jason, not you, Sonny. What you want or don't want, think or don't think, wish or don't wish, IS IRRELEVANT. 04. YOU GO, SCOTT. Everything he said to Nikolas and Lucky was absolutely true. And thank god that Scott isn't the type to be easily intimidated. 05. Gee, Carly, let me express how sorry I am that your meager attempt at seducing Jax on his way to an important business meeting didn't just automatically work, and may necessitate AN ACTUAL EXPENDITURE OF SOME EFFORT ON YOUR PART. 06. Here I go being confused again. Robin, why in the hell would you expect your mother to want to go to an Eli Live concert? And frankly, why would YOU be going, considering that asshole hurt your mother's feelings and treated her like crap in public no less. And let me tell you, Robin, just for the record: being backstage at concerts isn't always what it's cracked up to be. But I digress. Why in the world would your mother want to go, and why would YOU want to put her through that? 07. Okay, Johnny, now is the time to pack up and get the hell out of there. IS IT NOT OBVIOUS THAT SOMETHING HAS CHANGED? That she would have never boldly walked into the room asking for another lesson and started asking a bunch of nosey questions unless she knew or suspected something? 08. WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WHY ARE WE SPENDING ALL THIS TIME TRYING TO FORCE SOMEONE TO GO TO A STUPID ROCK CONCERT? Stuff like this makes me want to throw a brick through a window. Now you're telling NOAH that he has to convince her to go? WHY? This is incredibly stupid, especially when you consider that you've got two dysfunctional people acting like they know what's best for Robin's mother. They don't even know what's best for themselves. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: according to Robin, going to this Eli Love concert is "really the ego boost my mom needs right now." WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT, ROBIN? I think you should move in with Patrick, because I've consulted my crystal ball and determined that living with Patrick is really the ego boost you need right now. 09. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. Jax is leaving Carly because, among other things, she's constantly interfering in his business. She promises she won't do it again, and gets all bent out of shape when she's accused of not giving him important information. And so now she comes aboard, ties to get him drunk before an important meeting, fucks him, and then tells him that SHE told the pilot to circle to she could have her way with him, and he's not going to make this meeting. WHAT? First things first. You FIRE that asshole pilot, and make it clear to the next one that IF HE EVER TAKES AN ORDER FROM ANYONE BUT ME, ESPECIALLY AN ORDER FROM CARLY, HE'LL NEVER WORK ANOTHER DAY IN HIS LIFE. And then Carly and I would be though for good. But since Jax loves being fucked, this nonsense will go on forever. 10. Oh, goodie. On top of a little chickie scorned, we now have a little chickie scorned whose daddy was blown away by Anthony Zacchara. This just gets better and better. 11. Good for you, Ric. The look on Jason's face when you mentioned Sonny and Karpov was priceless.
TUESDAY 12. You know, Jason, sometimes you're an asshole, too. You treat Ric like he's something you wipe off your shoe. But isn't it interesting that Ric seems to know more about what's going on regarding your business than you do? You can take that attitude and shove it. He's given you information that you should have clearly had already and didn't, and yet you have the nerve to tell Claudia to be more careful about who she lets into her apartment? 13. Spinelli, shut up and think for a minute about the concept of logic. Yes, Ric Lansing has lied in the past. Of course Sonny and Jason and Carly and Kate and Jax and Jerry and Alexis and Nikolas and Lucky and Sam and Elizabeth and Johnny and Lulu and Maxie and you have never lied about anything ever, so the fact that Ric has should condemn him automatically, right? But I digress. Ric may lie, but Jason knew down deep inside that he wasn't lying this time. Jason knew that Ric was gloating, not over the fact that he was sneaking a lie through Jason's defenses, but that HE WASN'T. 14. I LOVED JAX THROWING CARLY OUT OF HIS ROOM. AND GISELLE'S WORDS OF ADVICE. Clingy wives ARE so passé. What you gotta love about Giselle is that the fact that she doesn't care that Carly is Jax's wife. In fact, Giselle would react the way she did with any man who had his wife in the room. She's not afraid of telling Carly off and sitting there while Jax pushes her out. I think Giselle looks at women like Carly more as wind-up dolls, to be put away, and only seen and heard when appropriate. 15. Jason tells Spinelli he wants "absolute proof" before he confronts Sonny. Unfortunately, no one bothers to define what absolute proof means. 16. Johnny, you can't be that stupid. You CAN'T have just stood there and listened to that girl and think for one second that she doesn't know who you really are, can you? Can any mobster be that naive? 17. Drop the attitude AGAIN, Jason. Claudia comes to the penthouse, tells him they need to talk, and his stupid response is that he doesn't see why because she isn't going to tell him anything he doesn't already know. EXCUSE ME? We just went though a whole dialog at Claudia's apartment WHERE IT WAS CLEAR YOU WERE GETTING INFORMATION THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW. So how in the hell do you know that you know what I'm here to tell you? 18. Anna, I've supported your feelings about Eli, but could we get serious for just a minute? That chick should have never been allowed on the stage. That being said, what did you want Eli to do, hit her with his guitar and kick her off the stage? And to what end? Jerk or not, Eli HAD TO ACT that way on that stage. I doubt seriously that he dropped her to the ground and fucked her right there in front of everybody. If you can't handle that, then you SHOULD go home. 19. Mr. Karpov originally impressed me as a reasonably intelligent man. What reasonably intelligent mob kingpin allows a low-level employee on the other end of his cell phone to hear people IN THE BACKGROUND? Now Sam knows that Karpov is involved with Jerry Jax, and that's not good for Jerry or Karpov. 20. Truthfully, Karpov and Sasha remind me a lot of Sonny and Diane. I'd love to know what kind of relationship Sasha and Karpov have. Do they spend time talking like Diane and Sonny? I'd love to investigate that. 21. I'M SICK OF THIS. JASON, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. You can't stand there are take information from Claudia THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW, and then when you've got the information, you treat her like crap and tell her to get out. Frankly, I don't know why people waste their time. You wanna treat me like crap, not even say thank you for the information? Well, you can figure all of this stuff out for yourself. Go ahead; go to Sonny's already convinced that he's allied himself with Karpov against you. I won't give you any more information, so you can keep coming to the wrong conclusions, and before you know it, the bullets will be flying. And guess what? YOU'LL BOTH DESERVE WHAT YOU GET.
WEDNESDAY 22. So as usual, Robin's stupid idea really IS a stupid idea, and her desire to boost her mom's ego turns out to be one of the most humiliating experiences of her life. Thanks, Robin; once again you're an idiot. As Anna says: "There is nothing worse than a past-her-prime spy buying into a staged scenario designed to boost her self-confidence." YOU GOT THAT NOW, ROBIN? 23. NADINE UNDERCOVER? Excuse me while I puke. 24. DUMBEST QUESTION OF THE YEAR AWARD is won by Lulu Spencer speaking to Johnny Zacchara: "How did you get this far in life without ever having to cook for yourself?" 25. DIANE MOONLIGHTS AS A MASSEUSE? SHE HAS HER OWN TABLE OUT IN THE CAR? 26. Oh oh, we have now come to that critical "V" in the road that Diane should have always known was coming. She should have known there would come a time when Sonny would DEMAND to know something about Jason's business that is strictly between Jason and his attorney. Of course, Sonny would have a cow if Jason asked Diane to do the same thing to him. 27. Handcuffs? Oh, please. You can't think of any better writing than that? Can't find the key? Call security, and get it hacked off right away. See, here's YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE of Carly sticking her stinking two cents into his business when she promised she wouldn't. And if Jax keeps letting her off the hook just because she fucks him every time, then he gets what he deserves. 28. Ric, STOP IT. Stop listening to Claudia blarp on and on about Sonny and Jason. She should be wanting both of those people dead. Instead, she defends them, she explains their actions, she even makes excuses for them I'd tell Claudia to pack her bags and go move in with Sonny or Jason, since she seems to be so interested in keeping them safe and warm. And the more she defends them, the more you and Anthony will be wondering what's really going on; that maybe, just maybe Claudia's so interested in them because she's formed an alliance with them, and they're the only thing standing between her and her father's wrath when he finds out what she's doing. 29. I don't know why they're making Dr. Hunter such a horrific jerk, but I hope they have a good reason. Why is it necessary for him to be such an ass, and all the time is beyond me. It seems to go way past putting on an act. 30. Max, SHUT UP. The fact that Mr. Karpov happens to have a weakness for redheads is not insult to Diane in any way, and the last thing anyone needs is your snotty attitude. If you can't remember your place, go back to work for Jason. If I were Karpov I would make it clear that people like Max, who get too big for their britches, really make me nervous. Or better yet, I'd say nothing, and then Max would find himself very dead. Max is sounding like Karpov talked to Diane the way Anthony talked to Claudia at the restaurant. My god, all he did was actually pay her a complement; do you think Karpov is the kind of man who looks twice at an ugly woman? 31. And while we're on the subject, "chauvinism" is defined as an attitude of superiority toward the opposite sex. So tell me: HOW EXACTLY DOES KARPOV ADMITTING THAT HE HAS A WEAKNESS FOR BEAUTIFUL REDHEADS MAKE HIM A CHAUVINIST? He didn't grab her ass, for christ sake. 32. And just in case you think that Diane would be so incensed she'd use all her legal skills to bring Karpov down, let me remind you of something. When Trevor was causing Kate so many problems, Diane SWORE that she would find a way to have him disbarred. As far as I know, she never even did a thing.
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WEDNESDAY - Continued 33. And while we're at it, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO SPINELLI AND JASON'S VOW TO EPIPHANY THAT THEY WOULD FIND STAN'S KILLER? They've never even tried to do anything, and it's been months since he died. 34. That kid Elijah looks so much like Kimberly McCullough it's creepy. 35. I'M VERY CONFUSED. In NIGHTSHAFT Patrick is the Chief of Staff. Is he the Chief of Staff on GH, too? If he is, then he's sure doing a piss poor job of getting all these crazy people out of the main area. They should be airing their dirty laundry someplace other than the front desk.
THURSDAY 35. "Thank you, I know I shouldn't be doing this in front of my son." THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU? 36. And Anna, Saint Anna (need we go through Anna's sordid past when it comes to motherhood?), since when do you have the right to assault someone because you didn't like the agreement they made with somebody else? HOW DARE YOU pass judgment on Eli? THIS WHOLE PLOT ABSOLUTELY STINKS. 37. And then we have to listen to Nadine: "You care about me?" Make sure you bat your eyelashes when you say it. You're brain dead if that didn't remind you of Sally Field, and "You like me, you really like me", at the Oscars. 38. And while we're at it, the amount of money Nikolas is paying Nadine is absolutely disgusting. She's not worth anywhere near that amount of money. Must be nice to have such a rich idiot around that he can UP your salary $2000 a week. Oh, poor destitute Nadine. 39. Claudia, LEAVE. Ric and Sonny are in the middle of a private conversation, so GO AWAY. Frankly, I just can't understand why people have to have these conversations in public places where just anyone can wander over or listen in. Why don't the two of you just leave, or tell her if she doesn't leave, you'll make a public scene, security will be called and then she'll leave for sure. Better yet, I'd just turn to Ric and start talking sports, and ignore her TOTALLY until she leaves. 40. Now it's Patrick's turn. I HATE BORN AGAIN CHRISTIANS, because once they "get religion" they act so smug, so superior, and they expect everyone else to fall in line and do exactly what they do. And guess what? Born again Christians don't know squat, and their new found egotism doesn't give them the right to shove their philosophies of life on anyone else. Patrick has decided since he's now on board with the daddy thing, THAT EVERYBODY HAS TO BE ON BOARD WITH THE DADDY THING, AND IT'S HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO SPREAD THE WORD AND MAKE THAT HAPPEN. BULLSHIT, Patrick. If you want to be a daddy now, good for you. But that doesn't mean Eli has to go with you. 41. Too bad Nikky has no balls. Nadine, whether you comprehend it or not, there is a difference between courage and stupidity. If you want to go out there with no training and play undercover agent, go ahead. Be stupid. I can't stop you. BUT LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR TO YOU. There are other people involved in this that I care a great deal about. There's an investigation going on as we speak, with people who have had a lot more experience in this than you. So, listen carefully: if as a result of your experience and stupidity, you derail Lucky's undercover police investigation into this, if you cause harm to Lucky or Sam, you better pack your bags and run, because if anything happens to them, I guarantee you will pay. 42. Eli is right. Trish wasn't waiting in the back of the bus so he could be a good daddy. She had no business getting pregnant, and when she did, getting all pissed at Eli because he didn't handle the way YOU THOUGHT HE SHOULD is stupid. ELI IS AN INSULT TO EVERY GUY WHO'S TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING? EXCUSE ME? Patrick tells Eli, "You're exactly what women hate about men." Patrick, you're exactly what I hate about born again Christians. 43. It's time for Johnny and Lulu to go. It was time for them to go as soon as that little chickie came into the picture. She never told you she had a key. I wonder why that was. And when she came in just now, what was she expecting? Just who gave her the right to use her key to barge into Johnny's place? What would she have done if they hadn't been there? Gone through their stuff? She's getting to be a real asshole, and the only reason she would be doing that, Johnny, is if she knows who you are, and knows she can do anything she wants because you're on the run. GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE NOW. I HATE TO CLUE YOU IN, BUT SHE NEVER KNOCKED. 44. And let's clear this up right now. That house is a shack. There's no doubt in my mind that when you raise your voice, it's easy to be heard outside the walls. Therefore, our little chickie KNEW DAMN WELL they were in there. 45. So let me get this straight. THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ALICE, whom we all know to be Einstein in disguise... Lulu killed Logan, let Johnny take the fall, smuggled a loaded gun into the police station, gave the gun to Johnny, pretended to be a hostage instead of a willing participant, stole a car at gunpoint, and then took off on the run. AND ALICE HAS DECIDED THAT SCOTT IS JUST USING LULU TO GET BACK AT LUKE AND LAURA? EXCUSE ME? 46. SPINELLI, who in the hell are you to decide that Sonny is betraying ANYONE? That's the trouble with you, Spinelli; you CONTINUE to come to the wrong conclusions, and you say them like they're the truth. Spinelli just can't WAIT to tell Jason that he's been betrayed. 47. OKAY, SO NOW WE'VE GOT THINGS OUT IN THE OPEN. What a shocker that little chickie knows who he is. If I were Lulu I would be packed and I'd leave. If he wants to stay there and be caught, so be it, but not me. THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT THERE AS SOON AS THAT LITTLE BRAT STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS. I'd make it clear to Johnny that I'M NOT ANSWERING ONE MORE QUESTION OUT OF THAT BRAT'S MOUTH.
FRIDAY 48. Well, Max sure continues to be that gatekeeper that never seems to be able to do his job. So naturally he just lets Kate go waltzing into a meeting Sonny didn't want her to even see, thanks to Max who just can't seem to get the hang of this stand-at-the-door-and-keep-people-out thing. Actually, it's too bad that Sonny can't trust who he's talking to enough to simply lock the damn door ... but we've been through this LOCK-THE-DOOR thing for months. 49. Hey, Johnny, as much as I dislike defending Lulu, does that look like jealousy on her face? NO; it looks like Lulu finally getting some smarts, which you obviously have none of at the moment. YOU TALKED LOURDIS DOWN? ARE YOU CRAZY? It's like The Mummy, where Brendan Fraser shoots at the mummy and then tells the head of the people protecting the city not to worry 'cause he got 'em. OH SURE YOU GOT 'EM. AND SURE, LOURDIS IS NO THREAT. What an idiot you are, Johnny. You should have been out of there days ago. LULU IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. "So before we have some lovesick piano student and her gang-banger brother breathing down our necks, we need to figure out what we're going to do." 50. So sure enough, like clockwork, there's Lourdis at the door. NOTICE THAT LULU ANSWERS THE DOOR AND LOURDIS TOTALLY IGNORES HER, every time actually. That in itself is confrontative, Johnny. WAKE UP. And if that's not enough, she makes it clear that while SHE would never let anything happen to him, if her brother found out, he'd kill Johnny. 51. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, does it ever occur to you to put a chair in back of the door and NOT ANSWER? See if you can hear her trying to use her key. It would be interesting to pretend you're not there, and catch her in the act, but what good would that do? And you better be careful when the little chickie decides you're not going to roll over (literally) and starts screaming rape or something. 52. DO YOU REALIZE HOW ALL OF THIS COULD HAVE BEEN EASILY AVOIDED IF JOHNNY AND LULU AND BOUGHT RINGS AND SAID THEY WERE MARRIED? 53. MAXIE, MOVE OUT. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY are you interested in this jerk? 54. Maxie, DOES THE TERM NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? And Spinelli, you are an ass. If I were Jason I would make it CRYSTAL CLEAR to you that if I EVER FOUND OUT that you were giving, or allowing Maxie to see, information regarding my private business, I WILL THROW YOU OUT. SPINELLI -- KEEP YOUR PERSONAL LIFE AND YOUR BUSINESS LIFE SEPARATE. 55. Oh my god, let me get this straight, Spinelli. Not only have you allowed Maxie to see something she should have never seen, NOW YOU'RE ACTUALLY TELLING HER SONNY'S BUSINESS? I don't care how good a computer person you are, there's always someone better. And you spilling your guts to some woman because you're hot for her would get you thrown out at the least, or killed, because I'm not sure I'd EVER allow you to leave with all that information about me. Either I'd have to make sure I could successfully change everything before I threw you out. But see, the problem is that Spinelli is very good, and if I couldn't guarantee to myself that he could never hack into my systems, I'd have to kill him. That becomes less and less painful a thought as the idiot becomes freer and freer with highly private information. MAYBE SONNY WAS RIGHT WHEN HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 56. Well, I don't know about you, but when I go undercover and might have to get out of someplace fast, I ALWAYS make sure I'm wearing my SUPER 4-INCH HEELS. 57. Do you believe
this crap from Johnny: 58. Well, here we
go. I'm looking back at Jason's history with people he doesn't like:
HE JUST SHOWS UP AT THEIR PLACE AND THEN HELL BREAKS LOOSE. I can only
think of two examples right now, but I know there are more:
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